Not this time...

The one thing I don't want is to get lost in this for the wrong reasons.  I don't want to focus all my attention on one thing.  I want to live my life how I like to; Living each day to it's fullest.  I want moderation, I want control, and I want a bit of crazy, unexpected, randomness.  Seems like the recipe to a happy life.  So without further ado:

Today's Weight

It's a slightly dark picture, but that is 232.8.  

I started this journey at 246.  Outside of being prego, I never want to see that number again.  And in fact, I would just like to never see that number at all.  

This is me around 246

With diet and exercise.  I was able to get down to 221 last spring (not this last spring, but the spring before). 

Heading out for a run-Spring 2011

This isn't the best of pictures showing my weight loss but I for sure felt great and I looked great in clothes.  

I have always been a big girl, and I am not a dainty lady.  Even at my lowest in high school, I was 175...that was wearing a size 10 pants.  I think a 10 is a great size!  That fits my body.  Too much lower and I look gaunt.  And with my height, that is right at the top of my healthy weight range.  So at 221, I was already starting to have more confidence and was generally feeling a lot better about myself. 

But, like in the past, I somehow lost momentum.  Thankfully though, not all of it.  Even with some weight gain, I have always had something in the back of my mind telling me what I should be doing.  I had times where I would track what I was eating, or times when I was hitting the gym not stop, but without doing them together, I quickly crept back up to 241.  

The hubs and I

My "get your shit together" wake up call was this past Valentine's Day.  I felt fat and bloated and ridiculously gross.  No way in hell did I want to continue to feel that way.  So I shifted gears yet again.  

Now I sit at 232.8.  It has been slow.  My ankle hasn't been a big help, but it also is not an excuse.  And I am glad I am headed in the right direction.  There will be challenges coming up.  Of course it's almost the holiday season.  That poses enough temptation!  But I just want to be strong.  I want to be healthy, and I want to keep going.  This has been a 1.5 year process, and I am down 13.2 total.  And for that I am grateful.  I am grateful that I weigh less than I did two years ago. I am grateful that I am active.  Grateful that I am motivated.  

Girl got back-that, I want to keep!

August 2012

June 2012

Seriously...

After a weekend of food and friends, I once again find myself where I usually do; off track and back to where I started.

Last week I had a great week.  Down two pounds, intense workouts almost daily, and I generally watched my food intake.

Now this weekend, while I didn't eat a lot, I didn't eat "good for you" food, I didn't work out, and I have probably put those two pounds back on.

At what point can I get so fucking frustrated that it finally just takes.  When will I finally put in the effort, all the effort needed, and finally see the results.  Honestly, this shit is getting old.  I just need to change.  I need accountability.

I am going to switch my weigh in day from Wednesday to Thursday.  That's 8 weeks out from Thanksgiving.  I need the deadline.  I need a goal.  I want to be down 5 pounds.  I don't need anymore, but I need that!  I just want healthy; mind, body, and soul.

So this Thursday, I am putting the weight out there, and I am going to check-in weekly with a picture of the scale.  Up or down, I just want accountability.

Bfast is where it's at!...

Breakfast is hella important. Case in point. This morning I had someone shadowing me. After grabbing my coffee (I opted for a latte just to get some protein), I was off to pick her up. Then the rest of the morning was go, go ,go! I had no time to really break, and breakfast just didn’t happen. And I eat breakfast everyday! Even on the weekends when I wake up around 11 (and yes, that happens often if I have nothing pressing to get done!).

We had lunch around noon. I ate my amazing leftovers! Last night I made mushroom stroganoff using a recipe from Skinnytaste.com…so good, and the portion size is super filling! At least it was last night. This afternoon, different story. 2pm rolled around and my stomach started growling. Little bitch! I knew I had a gym session after work so I decided to eat some breakfast! Starbucks oatmeal and another small latte. Take that hunger.

I certainly learned to importance of breakfast today. Of course I already knew how amazing it is, but now I also know how vital it is for me! I am still in awe of how hungry I was after two hours!

Lessons...

This past week I have been hitting the gym hard. Training session Tuesday, followed my working out Wednesday-Sunday with the exception of Friday. Sunday I had a bomb sweat session on the treadmill but sadly, it wasn’t because I was running.

 Last week after my few days of running, the good old ankle got a bit swollen and cranky. With some ice and Advil, it’s feeling pretty good again, but I just need to give it time. I have been rotating between outside walks, elliptical, treadmill, and weights. My new favorite treadmill workout is an interval one that keeps the pace the same but jacks the incline up multiple times throughout the workout. Needless to say, I was dripping sweat! Win!

 I also tried to rock some wedges for a wedding on Saturday. The ankle is 100% not ready for that party. I wore a pair of Dr. Scholl’s shoes on Friday with a mild wedge and my foot felt great. I thought that maybe actual wedges on Saturday would be no problem. False sense of hope. I hobbled through the event, and some errands after, and I happily kicked them off when I got in the house.

Needless to say, this will continue to be a work in progress. Someday I will be running with little to no pain/swelling. And someday I will get to put my piggies back in a pair of wedges or heels. I honestly can’t wait, but I know I have to. Now if I could get the eating in check. I can rock this shit Monday-Thursday but Friday through Sunday can end up being a shit show. Luckily I work out to compensate or else I have no clue how big I would be. Ugh, scary visuals!

Welcoming fall, and a moment of Pride...

This has been one crazy summer.  It started out rocky, and honestly, that is the main reason I took a break from blogging.  There were some changes that needed to happen, some decisions that needed to be made, and honestly, my ankle really effed with my my mood.  I fell into a funk that I never would have imagined would come from such an injury.  I finally decided that I needed to refocus and work on loving life like I usually do.  Once I made that realization, things really started to take a turn for the better.  It is ridiculous how much our moods can dictate our day to day routine.

So the latter part of July and August have been a blast, and I am looking so forward to the fall.

As I wrote earlier, we moved in with D. Lo.  We also decided to buy a new to us car!  LOVE IT!  We finally settled in, and things are falling into place, and that's a nice feeling.

We enjoyed our annual camping trip to Ely with another lovely couple.  It really was a much needed, insanely relaxing and active weekend all rolled into one.  I love that we do this every year.  Ely has become our little niche in this big world.  

The weekend after I took in a music festival with two friends from college.  We had no idea what we were in for.  We camped in an open field with an insane amount of hippie/hipster/grunge kids who did a lot of crazy ass shit.  Like, I have never googled so much shit in one weekend.  We were clueless!  My favorite was when someone walked up and asked Kelso if she wanted some Molly and she responded that she didn't know who Molly was.  He continued to talk and it finally clicked for her and she responds with a flustered, Oh no, I don't do drugs.  Yep, we were the old ladies in the open field campground!

The last two weekends have been spent at home, hanging out with my girlfriends, and working on fall cleaning.  Today was a wonderful Sunday.  After a weekend of friends, I did a little shopping and than headed out for a run.  I ran for 15 minutes this week, but it was on a treadmill.  I wanted to test my self on the pavement, and I have to say, I am stoked with the results!  I punched out a mile in 11:31.  Honestly, that's pretty close to where I had gotten myself with speed work prior to spraining my ankle (I am really fricken slow so this pace is bomb for me!  lol).

I finished my lovely Sunday by going out on a date with my amazing husband.  This past month has just cemented the fact that I am married to an insanely awesome individual.  He's a fricken blast, and one of the sweetest individuals.  One of my best friends had a rough weekend a few weekends ago and my husband provided more strength and support than he will ever know.  Thanks babe!

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Now I will leave you with a fall tip that will blow your mind!

(At least I hope-it blew mine!)

If you enjoy the tastes of fall, here is a simple way to jazz up your morning coffee.  Add 1-2 tsp. of pumpkin pie spice mix to your coffee grounds (this is for 10-12 cups of coffee in which I use 1/2 cup of coffee grounds).  Brew as usual, and enjoy!  Yummy!

Pounding the Pavement...

So I am going to slowly begin embracing running again. The desire to pound the pavement, run a race, and sweat till I can’t sweat no more has taken over my brain! I am literally jonesing to get out there.

I have done my exercises, iced, popped a few pills (Advil you sillies!), and stretched the shit out of it. I put on a pair of heels this past weekend, and it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it did last month. From what I have read on the inter web, as long as I am cautious, and am aware of the ankle (I am thinking I should just rock my brace while I am out running), I should be good to go. And I am smart enough to know that if it doesn’t feel right, then I need to stop. And while I am smart enough to know, I am not always smart enough to do, so I need to really be smart about this (overuse of smart anyone??!?!?).

I ran a few weeks back, just some short stints back and forth on the sidewalk. It actually felt pretty good. I also ran a bit this week, on the treadmill at the new club I joined.  No pain, and hardly any discomfort. I think if I just take this step by step, I should be good to go!

Grandma Diaries (1)

The other day I was out to dinner with my Grandma D. We were at a lovely café, eating on the outdoor patio. Italian music was lightly playing in the background, all the while, we were sipping wine and enjoying the delicious food and pastries. Mid-pastry I asked my grandma if she had ever been on a diet. Her simple response was no.

I was taken aback by how easily it came out of her mouth. No thought, no care. Just a simple no. That has to be a refreshing feeling. To just simply state, that no, I have never been on a diet. My story would be very different. And I pondered that while I took another bite of the Chocolate Hazelnut bar we were splitting. But then she continued.

As a teen, she was an active girl on her families North Dakota farm. It wasn’t until she moved down to Minneapolis in her late teens that she began to gain weight. She worked at a bank, where she would eat lunch, and then her cousin and her would go home to a meal already prepared and set out by their aunt.

She remedied this weight gain by always having two plastic girdles on hand. She made sure I understood these were not the fancy, stretchy girdles that can be found on shelves today. The tight girdles essentially made her lose the weight she had gained as they were so tight, she had no desire to eat.

She remained a svelte 120-130 the remainder of her youth and middle age, gaining the most weight with her last daughter, born while Grandma D was in her early 40’s. This weight too, like the weight before, eventually came off, but this time it wasn’t a plastic girdle, but rather the effects of dealing with some tough times.

Things improved, and she found happiness again. Family dinners and going out to eat with friends have put her at the weight she is today, one she has maintained for years. While she is happy and content, she would like to lose some weight to fit into her nice suits, ones that will no longer be used for business meetings, but rather church and family outings. In her mindset though, this goal takes moderation and watching what she eats. No diet, just modifications.

So while I started out envying her journey, the confidence I assumed she had, I soon realized that we all have a different journey, and we all look at things in our own way. While Grandma D has never been on a diet, she has focused and been concerned about her weight. It’s interesting to get other’s perspectives, and especially the perspectives of our elders. I wonder what my story will look like years down the road.