tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71470079713473527812023-11-16T07:49:48.140-08:00Proudly BrewedMy Perfect Blend: A Balance of Fitness, Food, and Fun!Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.comBlogger406125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-36929813275488761282016-02-24T12:16:00.000-08:002016-02-24T12:16:14.045-08:00The year of the Tweedle Bug!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The past year has certainly been an interesting one. On one hand, I think we felt it moved by like molasses, and on the other hand, it's like, WHAT?!?! ONE YEAR HAS GONE BY?!?! In the throws of sleepless nights, we felt the morning hours could not come fast enough. Yet amidst relocating, TWICE, we feel as though this year has been a crazy, hot, fast paced period in our lives. </div>
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We are looking forward to settling down for a bit, almost trying to find ourselves again. But what we do know for certain is we are parents to one fun little girl who is loved by many. Bug, you have a bright personality, and a lot of bold characteristics. It is fun watching you grow, even watching your toddler tantrums! Our goal is to raise you the best we can and hopefully we are doing that. </div>
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This month brought continued swimming classes...</div>
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Relaxation...<br />
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Ponytails...<br />
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A road trip for the Aunties wedding in Vegas...<br />
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Enjoying their Honeymoon suite in style!...<br />
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Taking in your first basketball game, the Utah Jazz vs. the Minnesota Wild...<br />
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Bedhead and breakfast...<br />
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Hugs and cuddles...<br />
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Fun bath time...<br />
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Honing your standing skills...<br />
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Standing unassisted!...<br />
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And then, a one year birthday celebration!! We celebrated in Hungry Caterpillar style on Super Bowl/Tweedle 1st Birthday Sunday!<br />
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You wore a crap load of pink, which isn't your usual style, but we jazzed it up and I think you look pretty darn cute!<br />
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You are one loved little bug! You have family and friends all over the US who have watched and cheered you on over the last year. They have supported and loved you and we are overly thankful for your village. </div>
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We hope your future is bright and happy, and we are going to do everything in our power to help you achieve that. We love you so much and look forward to many amazing years of adventure ahead!</div>
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Happy First Birthday Tweedle Bug!</div>
<br />Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-92078629863379820562016-02-04T22:09:00.002-08:002016-02-04T22:09:44.803-08:00What?!?!?! 11 Months old!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I am late at getting this post up as well-might as well keep with tradition;) And you are actually 1 in two days!!!</div>
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During your 10th month on this lovely earth, you enjoyed playing in boxes.</div>
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And you started taking swim classes which you enjoy, but are also a bit scared of.<br />
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You've been doing a lot of playing.<br />
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And dad was able to get a flower in your hair for dinner. You love pulling things out after we get them in your hair.<br />
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Dad did the obligatory dad thing and put you in the bath with clothes on.<br />
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And dad also thought you would enjoy sitting next to a toilet in the family bathroom. </div>
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You received a shopping cart for Christmas and started walking all over!<br />
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Another Christmas gift was your wagon from the Durgin grandparents. <br />
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You have enjoyed walks in it, snack time, play time, and you even watched Elf in it.<br />
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Then it was time to hop on a plane and head to North Carolina for Christmas.<br />
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You played with Christmas frogs.<br />
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And visited Charleston, South Carolina.<br />
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You got to see your Aunties.<br />
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We drove on the beach again, and this time you got to enjoy the bumpy ride on dad's lap. <br />
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You played in the sand and ocean.<br />
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And we celebrated your first Christmas!<br />
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You helped feed the dog.<br />
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And enjoyed sporting some of your Christmas clothes. </div>
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And before we knew it, we have a beautiful, loving 11 month old. </div>
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Who has enjoyed taking up clapping!</div>
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You are amazing, and we love you more then word's can describe. You are growing leaps and bounds right now and we realize new things daily. We are so proud of the things you accomplish. I know you are little, but you are so adaptable and you generally just go with the flow and we just think you are the coolest bug around! Happy 11 months bug!</div>
<br />Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-21860115424957773562015-12-27T10:55:00.002-08:002015-12-27T10:55:24.225-08:00Charleston LeeLynn is 10 months old!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Another month, and I can honestly say, this one snuck up on me. How is it that I already have a 10 month old. One year seems to be looming very close by-crazy!</div>
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As the duck sadly sprung a leak, we switched over to laundry basket baths-not my favorite as the edges feel a bit sharp but we'll figure it out.</div>
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The hat Grandma Terri made when you were first born is just now fitting-right in time for cold weather.<br />
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We found a pair of Jordan's on a local garage sale Facebook page and knew you just had to have!<br />
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Auntie Kory gave you a play mat and you love it-you are definitely loving being more active.<br />
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You started drinking out of soppy cups and really enjoy being in control-yet you prefer to not hold your own bottle;)<br />
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We had your crib in our room downstairs for a while but we have since moved you upstairs where you continue to sleep well. We are still staying with Grandma and Grandpa Bonnell so it is a bit crowded but they gladly opened up a room for Bug to have her own. </div>
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You still love your car-I think you like the independence. <br />
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Morning coffee with dad.<br />
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You're first Thanksgiving was a hit!<br />
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And you love play time with Grandpa Bonnell and Jack.<br />
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A Christmas photo shoot with Grandma Bonnell.<br />
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Christmas with the Bonnell's.<br />
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A personalized book from Auntie Kory was so special.<br />
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You had your first earache, and I coped with a margarita. But all in all, you handled it like a champ!<br />
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Outings with dad.<br />
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A quick trip to Reno to help Laine drive the camper to Salt Lake City to meet up with Grandma Terri. Grandma and Grandpa Durgin have made a big move to Ohio.<br />
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And you got to spend time with the Great Grandparents during that quick trip.<br />
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Then back to Salt Lake where you enjoyed the finer things in life.<br />
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And tried out a new bath tub configuration-a storage bin!<br />
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And before we knew it, another month had passed. <br />
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Thank you for making life so bright Bug. While we navigate this crazy thing called life, you continue to provide peace and comfort, and you are the reason we strive to succeed and make this life a lovely one for you. You now, are the reason for our existence, and we love our new roles in life!<br />
<br />Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-73297583558282557502015-11-22T15:49:00.001-08:002015-11-22T19:45:34.948-08:00Our baby girl is 9 months old!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Look at that cute little face! You are such a ham!</div>
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You love holding cups-so we give you a lot of empty cups!<br />
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You rock at feeding yourself. Not with silverware yet, so don't let this picture fool you, but from very early on you have been good at getting things to your mouth with your hands.<br />
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Great Grandma Lainy bought you a car to take your walks in-you love it!<br />
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Grandma Bonnell did a little photo shoot in mommy's first Christmas dress.<br />
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Again, that car-you love it!<br />
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You love crawling all over mommy and daddy.<br />
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You spent time antiquing with daddy-one of his favorite things to do.<br />
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You cheered for the Packers, even though they haven't been doing very well.<br />
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It started getting chilly...<br />
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And then it warmed up and you were able to greet mommy when she arrived home from work.<br />
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You went to your first Utah Grizzlies game. They played some fun tunes, but that's about the best I can say about the adventure. <br />
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You went shopping and enjoyed eating your Norwegian Gnome.<br />
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You wore big girl shoes.<br />
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And went for some hikes.<br />
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You took plenty of baths in your big yellow duck!<br />
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As the wether turned for good, we made sure to bundle you up.<br />
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And then you celebrated your first Halloween! Grandma and Grandpa Durgin came into town to celebrate with you.<br />
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Grandma Bonnell came to babysit you for a few days.<br />
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You enjoyed more shopping but this time with your spatula.<br />
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And just like that, another month passed.<br />
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We love you so much Tweedle Bug. We often look at each other and say how lucky we are to have you in our lives. And you are so good-we definitely lucked out! <br />
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Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-90888644982527446512015-11-02T11:34:00.000-08:002015-11-02T11:34:25.057-08:00The cutest bug ever is over 8 months old!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Much of the month of September, and into October, was spent just hanging out, and continuing to get to know the area. </div>
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You helped dad and grandma unpack!</div>
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You spent lots of time sitting up.<br />
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And being a Packer loving Super Hero!<br />
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Dad messed around with mom and posed you so it looked like you could stand up in your crib...I just about had a heart attack thinking you were growing up too fast!<br />
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You enjoyed lots of different foods, mostly pureed, but mommy like to push the bounties-dad is quick to correct me.<br />
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You took in Octoberfest, and were a bit upset when dad wouldn't share.<br />
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You love sitting in the seats of carts-you look like such a big girl!<br />
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You spent lots of time with the dogs, especially Jack who we like to call your horse.<br />
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You enjoyed hours in your jumper-you love to jump high and fast. We think you've already run a marathon with how much you jump.<br />
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For dad's birthday, you took a trip to Las Vegas to meet up with Grandma Terri.<br />
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You loved celebrating daddy's birthday!<br />
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And you really loved your time on the strip!</div>
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Then it was time to head home.<br />
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We spent a lot of time out doors. </div>
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And you got your first noticeable booboo....and we still can't figure out how:(<br />
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You used mom as a jungle gym.<br />
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Dad let you roam naked-on more then one occasion!<br />
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You continue to love bath's and playing in the water.<br />
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And hanging around like a cool kid.<br />
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You wore shoes.<br />
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And enjoyed your first pumpkin season!<br />
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You did a lot of hanging out with daddy.<br />
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And shopping for Halloween wear.<br />
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Dad won you a Packer bear in the vending machine.<br />
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And Great Grandma Lainy bought you a push car-which you love!<br />
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You enjoyed dinner outside with your "horse".<br />
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And then before we knew it, another year had passed and we had an eight month old.<br />
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Bug, you continue to amaze us. We are the luckiest parents in the world to be blessed with your fun, spunky, happy personality. Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-26100813663487536062015-10-06T21:45:00.000-07:002015-10-06T21:45:00.606-07:00Little Bug is 7 months (But actually 8 months tomorrow!)Boy am I no good at getting this done in a timely manner...but I want something for every month and am so determined to have that!<br />
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During your 6th month of life, you continued venturing into eating different purees and soft foods. We picked peaches in the new back yard.<br />
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You also made a trip to Minnesota with your dad for over a week-and mommy sure missed you!<br />
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You and dad enjoyed the Renaissance fair, one of daddy's favorite events!<br />
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You of course had to FaceTime mom!<br />
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And you also went to the Great Minnesota get-together-the state fair.<br />
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You and dad met Smoky the bear...dad has tried to meet him for the longest time. <br />
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You hung out with great friends in addition to seeing family back home.<br />
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You cooled off in the sprinkler system at the fair.<br />
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You helped dad load up the last of our belongings in Minnesota.<br />
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And then you came home to get a boat load of hugs and kisses from mommy! We love you Tweedle Bug and you continue to amaze us!Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-18007490219540545002015-08-30T20:39:00.002-07:002015-08-30T20:39:52.723-07:00Happy Half Birthday Tweelde Bug!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
What a freaking month. We packed up everything in Minnesota and headed west!</div>
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You were such a good girl during the two day car ride-but you are used to cars by now!<br />
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Once we made it to Utah, you and dad headed to Grandma and Grandpa Durgin's.<br />
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And made a bunch of new friends!<br />
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You got to see Auntie's Laine and Angel again!<br />
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And then you went camping at Lake Tahoe.<br />
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And mommy couldn't stay away long so I flew in to join.<br />
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And then it was back to Utah-another car ride.<br />
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You went discing with mom and dad-a fun way to get to know the area.<br />
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And we went shopping to find the perfect outfit for your 6 month photos.<br />
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You loved watching TV.<br />
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And you are really doing good with holding your bottle.<br />
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We took in a few local festivals-another great way to get to know the area.<br />
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You helped dad around the condo.<br />
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Started eating some food more consistently.<br />
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You helped mom and dad unpack in Grandma and Grandpa Bonnell's new house.<br />
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You enjoyed bath's on the deck.<br />
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And bath's in the sink!<br />
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You continue to amaze us. What a beautiful, bright, happy baby. You are amazing! I love you bug! Happy 6 months!</div>
<br />Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-16709339851277285632015-07-29T21:30:00.000-07:002015-07-29T21:30:25.139-07:00When your kid is so cute you could eat her! Happy 5 months Tweedle!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Yep, this was another adventurous month. You are such a sweet, loving baby, and you really put up with so much. I look at you and just fill up with pride, hope, and happiness. I am so proud to be your mom and so proud to go through these adventures with you. </div>
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This month we celebrated Julian and Jen's marriage...I'm not bias or anything but you were a hot commodity! </div>
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You took long afternoon naps with your dad.<br />
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You admired Prince George's crocs...makes you feel less embarrassed when your dad wears crocs:)<br />
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You went on many hikes and got to enjoy your new carrier-you love being in it an taking in all the sites.<br />
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You hung out with the dudes.<br />
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And were just an all around cheese ball.<br />
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You tried to convince us that you should pose for playboy. That is a huge hell no!<br />
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You met your aunties Laine and Angel. They were smitten!<br />
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You enjoyed your blow up rubber duckie tub. I know it doesn't look like it but I swear you love it.<br />
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You went on another cross country road trip checking off Illinois, Ohio, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and Virginia.<br />
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You licked chairs at auntie Laine and Angel's in North Carolina.<br />
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And took some really good naps!<br />
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You visited a Coast Guard ship.<br />
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And sat in the captain chair!<br />
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You met some lovely horses.<br />
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And played on a bear skin (let's hope he dies of natural causes...eek!)<br />
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More hiking!<br />
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You had your first ocean visit thanks to the Atlantic!<br />
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And then it was back home to the Minnie for a short period of time.<br />
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You celebrated your first 4th of July!<br />
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And continued to enjoy Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit.<br />
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You found your toes.<br />
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And then celebrated your 5 month birthday at the hospital where you were born.<br />
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We love you to the moon and back. My hope for you is that you continue to love and go to a variety of people (but we will have a stranger danger talk at some point!). I hope you remain easy going and lighthearted. Granted we'll take you any way you turn out;) but I just hope some of the personality traits you are exhibiting stick around...you are such a joy to be around and we hear it from everyone who meets you! Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-84050638831896664562015-07-03T14:33:00.000-07:002015-07-03T14:33:07.057-07:00Opps! Happy 4 Month Birthday baby Tweedle!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Well, life got away from me and I forgot to write your 4 month post. You'll hit 5 months in a few days so this will mostly be a photo dump!</div>
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You did have a 4 month dr appoint, your weight coming in in the 60th percentile and your length in the 98th. We definitely think you are a long baby!</div>
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Month 4 was spent at home in Minnesota. Most your life has been spent traveling so this was a whole new ball game. </div>
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You toy with the idea of holding your bottle.<br />
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You love watching tv with dad.<br />
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We've taken you to a few local breweries.<br />
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You practiced sitting up in the bumbo.<br />
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And Mimi tried to take over the boppy.<br />
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You tried out your big girl car seat.<br />
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And enjoyed some beers with dad;)<br />
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You watched the Minnesota Twins.<br />
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Practiced standing, a lot! You have some strong legs.<br />
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You visited mom's work after she was laid off...it's a good place, with good people. They just have some work to do.<br />
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You took some naps and of course looked hella cute. We worked on making sure you had time each day to nap instead of us always running around with you. You used to not have a schedule but this month you definitely put us all on a natural schedule and we are glad you did! Now there is nap time and a good bed time routine!<br />
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You took in a St Paul Saints game.<br />
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Celebrated memorial day.<br />
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Enjoyed the camp chair you got from Tonya and Hija for your Baptism.<br />
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We tried some solid food but mostly are waiting until after 6 months.<br />
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We got some good sleep.<br />
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We tried to keep you warm but failed!<br />
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You love walks outside and you love facing forward. We have to wrap a towel around you so you fit in your big girl stroller facing out. </div>
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You were introduced to Merlins Magic sleep suit...we love Merlins Magic sleep suit! You sleep so good, like you are being cuddled, but we don't have to swaddle you which was getting dangerous as you would kick off the blankets. (this sleep suit was purchased after a night of you being up almost every hour-the next day we ordered the next size up online!)<br />
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You played with your pal Hootie.<br />
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You road in the grocery cart like a big girl and loved it! I can not say enough how much you dislike your carseat.<br />
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You celebrated part of your 4 month Birthday with Tonya and Hija.<br />
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And then mom and dad took you home and snapped some quick shots before bed.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wearing the newborn pea outfit Grandma Terri <br />made you when you were a newborn.</td></tr>
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Happy 4 Month Birthday Bug! We can not tell you enough how fun it is to watch you grow! With each new stage, and each new learning, we just fall more and more in love with being parents. We were lucky enough to evolve into a family of three pretty naturally. Granted we had Grandma Terri here to help and Grandma and Grandpa Bonnell were over all the time. We all meshed very well! But that doesn't mean it was easy. Being up a lot at night, and having to be someone's constant can be intimidating. And with both your dad and I being so independent, there was a bit of a learning curve. And personally, I love how you interact with us now, and how you smile when we walk into a room. At this point, there have only been two moments where I have been sad to see you grow up so fast. One was when you hit 1 month-it just snuck up on us! The other was two weeks ago as I watched you sleep. You have grown so much! But most of the time, I am right there with you, enjoying each new milestone! We love you so much little Lady Charleston!Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-48853612649610233342015-05-21T21:15:00.001-07:002015-05-21T21:15:16.292-07:00Happy 3 month birthday Tweedle: Part Dos!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Look at your cute little bug face! You love to smile and it melts my heart!</div>
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This month you had your first non family member babysit you. But she's pretty much like family so not sure if it counts!<br />
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We hung out during hockey weekends in the hotel...you are a hotel regular now! <br />
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We spent more time outside.<br />
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And dressing up in our big girl cloths (6 months).<br />
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You have been practicing diligently at holding your bottle. I'm sure in the next few months:)</div>
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You picked up a new trait;)<br />
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We took another trip to Utah. </div>
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And you spent time alone with Mikey (and he was scared shitless).<br />
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You are starting to grab at stuff more and more daily and you love putting items, along with your hands, in your mouth.<br />
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We found beer in Utah so there may be potential there!<br />
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You got really excited at the thought of living closer to gma and gpa Durgin.<br />
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Dad and Mikey took you to your first baseball game, the Bee's.<br />
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And then it was back home. You sure have logged a lot of miles on the plane and I don't blame you for not always liking it. But you are so good and such a trooper. <br />
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We love you so much Tweedle! looking forward to seeing how you grow in the next month. </div>
<br />Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-48372532752837342702015-05-16T23:09:00.004-07:002015-05-16T23:09:47.557-07:00Happy 3 months Tweedle: Part One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Little Bug! Happy 3 month Birthday. You had another busy month. Honestly, I look forward to a boring month-I have an internal battle with myself as I recap each month. On one hand I am so happy for the experiences you have had, and that we take you out and about. You are such a good girl, a trooper, and everyone loves your company. But I definitely have moments where I wonder if we do too much, and expose you to too much. I will just have to look back at this time as an adventure. I'm sure some boring month in the future we'll be looking back on this craving an adventure. But to be perfectly honest with you, your daddy and I love being out and seeing the world-we don't do to well cooped up. In fact, you come from a long line of active people so who knows. Maybe we are just doing what we are meant to do. I mean, I know we are doing what we are MEANT to do, I just wish I didn't let me mind wander and worry. </div>
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Month 3 started in Minnesota but not for long!</div>
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You hopped on yet another flight, this time headed to Boston to take in the Frozen Four and support Grandpa Bonnell and his Hobey Baker committee.<br />
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You got to experience the underground subway system-a true workout!<br />
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And you dined at Durgin Park! Your Durgin roots are from the East coast and it was fun finding little historical pieces that most likely link back to your lineage.<br />
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Your first hockey game was at the Boston Garden.<br />
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And you got all dressed up to celebrate the Hobey Baker awardee.<br />
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You took your first swim and absolutely loved it!<br />
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And since the Garden was a bit loud, you took in the remaining Frozen Four games from a Bar...because who doesn't take a baby to the bar!<br />
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Since mom doesn't have a job, and dad's is flexible, we decided to take a deal from the airline as the flight was over booked and ended up spending one last night in Boston just the three of us.<br />
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Our last day in Boston, we got you on the Harbor...your first boat ride!<br />
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And since you peed through the one outfit we had for you, we of course had to get you a Cheers onsie.<br />
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Then it was back to home sweet home and just in time for some great weather! You seriously could be outside all the time. <br />
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You spent the month cheering on the Wild...sadly they did not make it to the Stanley cup finals but it was fun to hope!<br />
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And you got to celebrate mom and dad being together for 13 years. We are so thrilled that this year we got to celebrate with the third member of our little family-what a blessing!<br />
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Your time at home between trips was definitely more relaxing. Lots of rest and cuddles!<br />
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We are excited for your hair to come in more...some days it looks red, some days it looks blonde. <br />
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And while mommy worked her seasonal hockey events during April, daddy got to spend quality time with you! He had to give the pacifiers one more go but I think we've given up! I think you own every single kind and you don't like any, yet you are always gnawing on your hands or bottle nipples-we just can't figure you out!<br />
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Stay tuned for the next part because this isn't enough adventure for one month!</div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-79509667547245479122015-04-20T22:13:00.000-07:002015-04-22T12:09:10.336-07:00Happy 2 months Tweedle! (And yes, I am late again:)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
My little lady is over 2 months old! Your second month of life was definitely an adventure! It started out normal.</div>
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You continued to get lots of cuddles from Grandpa Bonnell. </div>
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And Auntie Kory spent her spring break spoiling you!<br />
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To add some spice to life, you enjoyed your first perogy lunch!<br />
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And met Grandpa Durgin!<br />
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You finally fit into the cutest outfit ever that Auntie Kory bought you in Norway!<br />
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You love sitting in front of the heater listening to reggae...maybe you are an island baby at heart!<br />
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You had your first sleep over at Grandma and Grandpa Bonnell's.<br />
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And celebrated your first St. Paddy's day in style!<br />
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Then things got crazy. Since mom lost her job March 10th, and Grandpa Bonnell accepted a job in Utah, we decided to make the journey out with him while he started his new job and we considered a move out west.<br />
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It was hard leaving your daddy but it was a big learning experience. Mommy took care of you almost 24/7 and we really got some good bonding time!<br />
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On our travels, you saw Mount Rushmore. Don't worry...I'll consider taking you back with you can actually remember being there...but honestly, one time was enough for me. Twice was entirely too much;)<br />
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You saw your second cousins in Colorado, along with meeting your great grandma and grandpa, great aunt and uncle.<br />
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You enjoyed some Colorado sun.<br />
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And then headed to Utah for your first ever hotel stay.<br />
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While in Utah, we scoped out the area, and mom had a few interviews. On a whim, we decided to fly to Reno before heading back to the MN.<br />
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We made a stop in Vegas so you could experience the slots.<br />
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And then it was time to be reunited with your grandma Durgin and meet her fur baby Fu!<br />
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You were pretty smitten with Fu! I'm guessing your an animal lover like your dad and I.</div>
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You met the last of your great grandparents so now you have met them all!<br />
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And you are now loving baths and being naked:) Seriously though, look at those eyes and that cute as hell face!<br />
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You visited your dad's favorite place in Reno.<br />
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And then headed home...after such a long and full trip, both of us were ready to get home and see your dad!<br />
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Reunited and it felt amazing!<br />
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We were home in just enough time to celebrate a special day in your life, your Baptism. It was such a beautiful and special day.<br />
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And you celebrated your first Easter.<br />
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Which wouldn't be complete without a creepy bunny.<br />
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You are such a joy. You have started smiling and melting our hearts even more then we could have imagined! The future is a bit in flux right now, especially as mommy looks for a job, and we plan to embark on a big move. But the one thing that is constant and wonderful is we are a happy family of three and as long as we have each other, we are blessed! And we are so lucky to have an outstanding support system. Makes all the craziness a little bit less crazy and provides calm amidst the storm. </div>
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We are already enjoying your third month of life and I look forward to filling you in!</div>
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Loads of love and kisses,</div>
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Mommy</div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-43324457522236899592015-04-01T22:07:00.000-07:002015-04-01T22:07:15.267-07:00Month One (very late!)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
To my lovely little lady!</div>
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You are already well over a month old, but I'll recap your first month as best I can!</div>
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We were so lucky to have Grandma Durgin here for over a month. She helped love you, cuddle you, and she helped keep mom and dad fed!</div>
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You had visitors all the time. Grandma and Grandpa Bonnell pop in almost daily to give you lots of love!</div>
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Your proud daddy has introduced you to some of his favorite things...Patagonia, beer, and all things recreational. You made your first trip to REI within your first few weeks. </div>
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You did have to deal with a case of thrush, but outside of that, you have been a healthy, happy girl. Your weight, height, and head growth have been awesome!</div>
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You're dad took the first three weeks of your life off to be at home with us and we wouldn't trade that time. We got to really get to know you and adjust to being a family of three.</div>
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We also got to have a lot of fun. Over the past month, there have been a few tears, mostly due to hormones, lack of sleep, and nerves...but those have been few and far between! We have had a blast with you little lady! </div>
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Happy (very late) One Month Birthday to our little love! We can't wait to see you grow over the next few months. </div>
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Love, </div>
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Mommy</div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-67110229516244850462015-02-26T12:21:00.002-08:002015-02-26T12:22:00.513-08:00Little Lady Charleston<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i>Born February 7th, 2015 @ 4:35 am</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;">Dad and mom are so in love!</span></div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-85422761240779901512015-02-06T12:28:00.000-08:002015-02-22T19:18:09.496-08:00Rounding the final bend!Oh I figured I would fail at updating weekly. Life has just been busy but I also tried really hard to relax. And now....we are here! Baby is taking her sweet sweet time but we should have a baby by end of day today, or early tomorrow! Crazy!<br />
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And as I sit here, in the hospital room, nearing the end, my ridiculous hormones have taken over and I mourn the fact that I will no longer have my little bump. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of miserable times, plenty of times where I ached, hurt, felt ill from top to bottom. But I also tried to stay positive and funny, and make sure to bond with my bump. And I did! Which is so outrageously cool! </div>
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I read enough in the beginning to know that not all people do bond with their bump. There is the end goal, and they focus on that the entire time. I figured that would be me. That I would just always focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. But once I figured out a sleeping schedule, what foods did and did not agree with me, and how I could get comfortable, I was able to truly bond. And I thank God for the blessing. </div>
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And going into the labor process is a whole mix of crazy and scary again, and I have armed myself with enough knowledge to know that yet again, bonding can take some time. You are meeting this stranger that has been inhabiting your body. I am armed with the knowledge of that, but also the knowledge that with time, things come around, and I will be so blessed to have this little girl in my life! But I know too I will miss having her all to myself and I just would have never imagined myself saying that. It is crazy how me evolve...and thank God we do. </div>
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And I know there are people who do it alone, and do just fine, but without a doubt in my mind, I could not have done it. When I was miserable, my husband was there with the biggest smile, the biggest joke to crack, the biggest hug, whatever I needed. And it was constantly about me. We generally both strive to make life easier for the other but this was definitely a time where I relied on him more heavily then he could rely on me. </div>
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I honestly could not imagine going through this with another person. It's truly ridiculous what this man has done for myself and our unborn child. He will no doubt be an amazing father. I can not wait to see him in that role. </div>
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So there we are! A quick little wrap up. We'll see you on the flip side:)</div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-85621921980480479352015-01-21T13:43:00.000-08:002015-01-21T13:45:28.684-08:00Under the Wire...36 weeksI figured I better get this out there as I hit 37 weeks tomorrow! But let's be real, it's all a guessing game anyways.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Check out those sleep deprived eyes...uffda!</td></tr>
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<b>Weeks along:</b> 36.6</div>
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<b>Sleep: </b>Bleh! I truly dread night time. I had a Dr.'s appt yesterday and I laid it all out on the table. I have only been taking 1/4 of a Unisom because I don't want to become dependent and if I take more it makes me drowsy but she said to up the dose so last night I took a half, and slept pretty well. Well, except for the 1:30 am wake up call of the cat chasing a mouse! I however successfully caught mouse, relocated to the storage room, went back to pet a bewildered Faith as she had no clue where the mouse ended up, and fell right back to bed.</div>
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<b>Miss anything:</b> Alcoholic drinks and eating a full meal...there is just no room at the inn and everything leads to heartburn.</div>
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<b>Cravings:</b> Sweets, peanut butter, apple juice, pickles</div>
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> I would have said the Packer game Sunday had it just ended up better! But we had a lot of fun with the fam at a local Packer bar so I'll keep it on the list. And Chaz took some bump pics on Sunday so we will have nice pictures and not just my mirror work that you have all been enjoying:)</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little hike in the woods to get some fun shots!</td></tr>
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<b>Movement:</b> Lots of movement and I would have totally guessed baby was breech but she is perfectly settled head down! Huge win! I seriously can't describe how good it felt to hear that. And for some reason, the thought of a c-section never really bothered me. In fact, I looked at it as keeping some things intact, (and I know it could still happen) but it was a total relief to hear head down. So I guess the thought of a c-section must somewhere in the back of my mind make me nervous.</div>
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<b>Up Next: </b>Pack Hospital bag and just relax...hopefully we can keep the house mildly clean because I just want to enjoy these last few weeks, catch some movies, maybe have a dinner or two out, and hang out with the hubs, family, and friends.</div>
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Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-2688349975654033272015-01-11T20:14:00.002-08:002015-01-11T20:14:26.842-08:0035 weeks and some changeHello from somewhere within the 35th week. I am ready for a healthy happy baby! And I am 100% ready to be done with pregnancy. Last night my legs were twitching, my hips were on fire, and I cried for about 45 minutes somewhere between the hours of midnight and 2 am. And the crying, no clue why! But I just tried to relax, and let it come. <br />
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But it's weird...while I am ready to be done with pregnancy, and I am so ready to meet our baby, my anxiety the last few weeks has definitely intensified. There have been moments where I find myself worrying about the shock of when she gets here, the potential for postpartum depression, how we'll handle those first days home. And then I have to tell myself, why the hell waste time worrying. If it happens, if I'm an emotional wreck, if I go through a period of shock like I did when I found out I was pregnant, I can deal with it then. No need to give it any of my time in advance.<br />
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So for these last couple of weeks, I am trying to focus on relaxing. On really spending a lot of quality time with my husband, friends, and family. Baby clothes have been washed and put away, bags are getting packed, and the nursery is coming together. It is fun playing with clothes and thinking of the little girl that will be wearing them before we know it! <br />
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And now, without further ado, bump pics at 35 weeks!<br />
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<b>Weeks along:</b> 35</div>
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<b>I'm feeling: </b>I dove into this above but again, it's a mixed bag. I'm sore, emotional, and nervous, but I am also super excited and ready to meet our lady! It's a really crazy thing to go through, to be so happy and excited but also so scared and nervous. I will say, for the most part, I just try and go with the flow and it seems to work!</div>
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<b>3 Pros of the week:</b> Back on antibiotics to try and clear this sinus infection up, a few nights out with friends and an awesome Sunday at my parents house watching the Packer game!</div>
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<b>3 Cons of the week:</b> My midnight meltdown, the freezing cold, and my hips!</div>
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> Sunday at my parents house-such great time!</div>
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<b>Movement:</b> My belly is always moving. We have moved away from little kicks and flutters to some hardcore fist pumping or something! I think she is trying to escape. And the pressure on my bladder is crazy!</div>
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<b>Up Next: </b>We have a few classes coming up over the next two weeks and this Tuesday, as in two days, we have our 36 week appointment where they will do an ultrasound! Looking forward to seeing our baby and maybe starting to discuss the labor process!</div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-15577600708546742952015-01-01T20:52:00.000-08:002015-01-01T20:52:43.761-08:0034 Weeks!We are one week closer to meeting our little lady! The holidays are always crazy but there has also been some relaxation. Mostly due to both Chaz and I having colds but either way, we've been trying to get some good rest.<br />
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The bump for sure continues to grow! I have no clue where the space comes from but if my heart burn is any indication, I am guessing my stomach is being given very little room;) It's only temporary though so who cares!<br />
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<b>Weeks along:</b> 34 (baby seems to be more on track now)</div>
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<b>Total weight gain:</b> still hovering somewhere between 16 & 20 (I didn't weigh myself before this party started but I have a general idea.)</div>
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<b>I'm feeling:</b> The last couple of days there have been a few moments where I feel scared all of a sudden. I don't know if it is scared to give birth or scared for the craziness of life after birth but before this week, I had just been very go with the flow. Looking to play some mind games and get back to the go with the flow mood. Mikey, my super smart brother said, you know you have a challenge to face. Face it with positivity and it will go much better then if you face it scared or with a negative attitude. Sounds like a plan to me!</div>
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<b>3 Pros of the week:</b> Having New Years Day off and sleeping in, getting together with some great girlfriends, making lefse all by myself! (I wanted to make sure I could carry on the tradition)</div>
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<b>3 Cons of the week:</b> Heart-burn, swollen feet, cold winter weather.</div>
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> News Years Eve with the husband and family!</div>
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<b>To Do list:</b> Look up hospital classes, take some maternity pics, finish closet in nursery</div>
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Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-49762244887095858162014-12-27T22:03:00.001-08:002014-12-27T22:03:33.807-08:0033.3 weeksI could potentially be added to the bad mom list already. When I found out I was pregnant, I spent about a week in shock. Then I quickly fell into about 6 weeks of morning sickness. I didn't have the energy to take bump pics, get excited, or really relish in what was going on. In fact, I felt fairly lost.<br />
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By the second trimester, I was starting to feel better, and my energy was back. It felt great to be "normal". Every couple weeks I started taking bump pics, I ensured my vitamin intake was spot on, and I really focused on being healthy. Finding items for the nursery got me excited. By the time I hit about 20 weeks, I started feeling little flutters, which was weird and cool all at the same time.<br />
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20 weeks almost to the day, we celebrated my husband's 30th birthday, our 5 year wedding anniversary, and we found out the gender. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">It's a Girl!!!!!!!</span></td></tr>
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And from there on out, it has just continued to feel more real as the days go on!<br />
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So I feel like a bad mom, because I just didn't have the energy to do all the tracking and posting and weekly bump pics and what have you. But I know that I have waited over 12 years to see what Chaz and I would create together and I am so excited to welcome our little girl here shortly! And I am also a realist. Which maybe that hindered me during the first few months of pregnancy. I know this is going to be hard. And I know this will be life changing...it already has been. But from what I read, it is all worth it, and every day, as I become more and more attached to this little girl inside me, I can't imagine doubting it. <br />
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So late, yes, but still worth while; I hope to document these last few weeks.<br />
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<b>Weeks along:</b> 33 (baby measuring about 1.5weeks ahead)</div>
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<b>Total weight gain:</b> around 16 pounds</div>
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<b>Maternity Clothes:</b> Leggings, leggings, and more leggings!</div>
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<b>Miss anything:</b> Sleep, being able to eat a big meal, and wine...or Bailey's...or Strongbow...you get the picture!</div>
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<b>I'm feeling:</b> Excited! And nervous! It's a mixed bag. But really looking forward to being done with pregnancy and physically holding our baby! I just want her here, healthy, safe, and happy!</div>
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<b>Sleep:</b> Ha! I have the best husband in the world. Tonight I just about started to cry, telling him how much I hate the evening and thinking about trying to go to sleep. Between bathroom breaks, leg cramps, rolling onto my back and snoring like a bear, I hate going to bed. But he just rubs my leg, kisses my forehead, and tells me it will all be ok. He is such a comfort-but man I hope sleep comes easily again once this little lady is born.</div>
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<b>3 Pros of the week:</b> Christmas eve service, being gifted cute as heck baby items, movie and dinner date with my man!</div>
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<b>3 Cons of the week:</b> A nasty cold, restless legs, heartburn</div>
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> Seeing my husband get excited when he can see the baby moving!</div>
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<b>Movement:</b> Little lady likes to kick, and kick a lot! But I wouldn't trade all the movement for anything. I know she is in there, cooking away, and the movement let's me know she is ok. She does however calm right down when daddy places his hand on my belly!</div>
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<b>Food cravings:</b> Nothing really...sweets, but that's not new for me.</div>
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<b>To Do list:</b> Look up hospital classes, take some maternity pics, finish closet in nursery</div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-27800601460201964532013-09-19T18:44:00.000-07:002013-09-19T18:44:26.836-07:00Thankful Thursday...<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.crystalmichellesmess.com/" title="Crystal Michelles Mess"><img alt="Crystal Michelles Mess" src="http://www.fatchick2fitchickblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/2013-09-17_0010.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Fall is coming to the Minnesota. We have had a few cool days, one down right cold, mixed with some warm/humid/rainy/awkward days. Today was humid, and in the 80's. But tomorrow morning we wake up to temperatures in the 60's. <br />
<br />
I LOVE fall days filled with brisk weather and changing leaves. BUT, I am not a fan of snow and ridiculous cold...so I am just going to enjoy my fall days and hope they last! I would love a long fall! I would be Thankful for that! <br />
<br />
But to get to the point of this post! I wanted to comeback with some things I am thankful for today!<br />
<br />
1. Always, always, always, I am thankful for my amazing husband. I just don't think they come any better! Such a supportive and loving man. We seek adventure and always encourage each other's dreams all while loving unconditionally and respecting whole heartedly. I was blessed with one hell of a life partner!<br />
<br />
2. My insanely supportive family. I can turn to so many people and feel the comfort of home...that is an awesome feeling!<br />
<br />
3. PSL<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9L9q1iyDnQciZNQhAcsmjnrA8Nv9-J_5o0ZIUOJloawRO27PGUF1KqmcRfAQvhz2k9nk_mvCFotK9V117i2ucek2X1kprZms_LGuJFdY3kFJ5GTcOYcm93mLxDat13nNNA-EOQ0yW07M/s1600/Pumpkin+Spice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9L9q1iyDnQciZNQhAcsmjnrA8Nv9-J_5o0ZIUOJloawRO27PGUF1KqmcRfAQvhz2k9nk_mvCFotK9V117i2ucek2X1kprZms_LGuJFdY3kFJ5GTcOYcm93mLxDat13nNNA-EOQ0yW07M/s320/Pumpkin+Spice.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
4. Relaxing nights hanging out with good friends.<br />
<br />
So happy it's Friday tomorrow! Looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday! Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-15936921154924106812013-04-16T20:02:00.000-07:002013-04-16T20:02:40.233-07:00Runners Unite...Tonight I laced up my shoes and headed out for a run. I ran 3.5 miles this weekend, and I was itching to get out for another run. That, and after yesterday's events at the Boston Marathon, I thought I would run because there are those who can't. And while what happened yesterday makes me sick and sad, it is quickly replaced in my mind by all the good in this world. Sure there are some bad apples, but generally, people fight for what's right. We stand united, working to help the less fortunate, raising money to cure disease and fight famine, treating others how we want to be treated. There are so many acts of kindness daily, that it would be a shame to let an event like this over shadow all the good. We need to fight back and not let evil win. We can't give evil the satisfaction of our defeat. <br />
<br />
As I watch footage, I don't focus on the explosion. I focus on the medical staff and volunteers who rushed to break down the barricade and help the wounded instead of fleeing in the opposite direction; let's focus on them! They are what makes this world a better place. And that makes my heart happy in this time of sadness. Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-57995883524433701312013-04-12T20:08:00.003-07:002013-04-12T20:09:42.581-07:00Overdue....This has turned into a longer story then I thought! Check here for <a href="http://www.proudlybrewed.blogspot.com/2013/04/remember-that-one-time-when-i-posted.html" target="_blank">Part One</a>.<br />
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It was a beautiful, warm sunny day in August. I was headed back to college to start my
junior year as a resident assistant. I
was excited and nervous, but nothing out of the ordinary. It was always a bit hard leaving my family
and boyfriend, but I was excited to get back to my routine and hit the books
(no joke, I fricken loved hitting the books).
I drove myself as this was my third year heading up and I was more
mature – I didn’t need the usual parental unit drop off. That and they would be up that weekend to
drop my sister off so there was ample time to let them pamper me with a trip to
buy dorm room necessities and enjoy a few meals out to push off eating in
dinning services one more day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I stopped of at my boyfriend’s house on the way up. Since it was mid-morning, he made us
strawberries and cream oatmeal and we talked about when we would see each other
next. At this point, that was our
routine. We were used to it, and used to
saying good-bye. We had been doing it
for 4 years at this point and it worked.
Both of us enjoyed our freedom.
It made the time we spent together more meaningful and fun, and it
allowed us to form friendships and have time for family and friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">We talked for a while before I decided I should hit the
road. I wanted to get up to school and
get everything unloaded from my car before night fall. The car trip up was usual. It was boring and long, but I listened to
music, stopped half way for fuel and a soda, and continued on my way. I got to school mid afternoon, checked in,
and started unloading. The school was
eerily empty. Sounds pretty normal for almost two weeks
prior to the first day of class. At this
point, the hall I was moving into was only occupied by the Resident Director
and the Director’s assistant. I’m not
even sure any of the other RA’s had moved in yet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I hauled my bins of belongings up 3 flights of stairs to
my little room on the top floor of an old brick dorm hall. My room was at the end of the hallway tucked
in the far corner of the floor. The room
itself was a decent size for one person.
One wall boosted built in shelves and closets, and the adjacent wall had
angled ceilings, reminiscent of the top floor of an old castle (the building
has a similar look to it) with a large window over looking the courtyard. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">As I continued to unload my truck, I saw the Director’s
Assistant once. She was insanely sweet
and offered to help. I didn’t want to
burden her so I politely declined and continued on my way. As I continued to go
up and down, and up and down, my mood continued to turn sour. At first I was lonely, then sad, then tired,
then everything combined. I finally got
everything unloaded with the exception of a metal swing I was going to fashion
into a couch. That had to wait until my
friend popped over later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I went to my room and started unpacking. There was still plenty of daylight at this
point, so I decided to try and get as much unpacked as I could. My overly organized self could not handle
living out of boxes and I would work into the wee hours of the night just to
get everything in its correct place. As
I was unpacking, I was suddinly hit by a huge wave of grieve and sadness. I started bawling in my dorm room. I was in complete shock. I felt outside of my body, unaware of what it
was doing, and how quickly it approached.
I calmed myself down, but I couldn’t shake the heavy weight of sadness
that engulfed me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">One of my best friends stopped over to say hi and welcome
me back up. She had graduated the year
prior and had stayed in town and found a job.
I put on a happy face, she helped me unload the porch swing from my car,
and we headed to grab soup and sandwhiches from a deli across the street. We headed back to my dorm to eat. I took a bite, and quickly realized I was not
going to be able to swallow. My throat
closed off, and my eyes welled up. Not
able to really explain myself, I told my friend that I was having a bad
day. We talked for a bit, I again
settled my tears, and she asked if I wanted to stay at her apartment. That was the first net thrown out to me. I jumped on the offer and got the hell out of
my dorm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">That night was one of the worst nights I experienced. I was sad, lost, and scared. When everyone went to bed, I laid in the
dark, feeling completely and utterly alone, feeling out of body and completely
absent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I finally fell asleep, my eyes swollen from crying. I awoke to my alarm at 6. I needed to get back to campus to start RA
training. Not only did that suck, but
worse then that was that I woke up with a sinking feeling in my stomach, a pit
that lasted the whole month-though I didn’t know it then. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Over the next week, my brain wandered. I lost my appetite and was only able to force
down food later in the evening. I went
all day not eating, simply because I could not swallow. Simple tasks become ridiculously
complicated. And the mornings were also
the worst. I continued to wake up daily
with that pit in my stomach. This would
last through the afternoon, along with the sadness and loneliness. As evening came, I would start feeling
better. This is when I was able to eat,
be active, what have you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Any time my parents or boyfriend called I broke down. I just felt so disconnected, so out of
place. I can only imagine how helpless
they felt, in addition to feeling lost themselves. I was throwing some heavy
shit their way because I didn’t know what else to do. And even though I feel bad for what they
endured, they were my saving grace. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It took a little over a month to realize that what was
going on was not going to pass. I cried
multiple times a day. I pushed away
friends and most family. I resigned from
my RA position. I couldn’t be fair to
the role, and there were plenty of students who wanted that job so I gladly
passed it off. That and I thought maybe
if I had less on my plate, I would start feeling better. It helped.
It helped to get out of that dorm room that held not one good
memory. But it definitely did not fix
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">One of the first weekends in October, I went home to visit
my family. I spent the weekend curled up
in my parent’s bed, or on the floor of my mom’s office while she worked. I
slept and slept and slept. It was the
only time I felt comfortable truly letting go and relaxing. By Sunday, my parents recognized the severity
of my symptoms, and also the fact that this wasn’t going away easily. They suggested seeing a doctor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The three of us headed to a family doctor Sunday
evening. By the grace of God, he took a
Sunday evening house call. In his
office, I explained my symptoms and feelings.
He suggested medicine, for both depression and anxiety. I cried.
It was the last thing I wanted, to be dependent on medication. After talking through the medicines
abilities, and my doctor assuring me that it was not habit forming, I
reluctantly decided to give it a chance.
The medicine would take about six weeks to get into my system and start
working, and I said I would see if it helped, but I promised nothing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I went back up to school and quickly decided I was no
longer happy where I was. I needed a
change. As each week passed, I noticed I
was able to get through my day with less and less issues. And as seems to be the case, after about 6
months, I started to feel normal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">To wrap this up, as it is getting to long, I will run
through the next two years. I transferred to a new college 4 months after going
through this ordeal. That Christmas
break was amazing. I felt like
myself. When I started school at
Augsburg, the change took me back a few steps, but I started seeing a therapist
at the school, and I was able to quickly rebound. And I had some amazing friends!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The following summer I tried to slowly decrease the amount
of medication I took, until one day I stopped all together. Almost 6 weeks to the day (there are some
articles that say it takes 6 weeks for anti-depressants to be working at full
capacity in the body, and six weeks until they are flushed out of the body) I
woke up, and started to instantly cry, all day.
It was the Fourth of July…the worst Fourth of July. When my parents came home, we had a long
talk. They really drove home the fact
that this is a chemical imbalance, and sometimes we need to do what is best to
feel better. I went back on them, and
found my normal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Today I am on 1/2 of what I was back then, and even then I
was on a low dose. In my 27 years, I am
in the best place I have ever been. I am generally happy, everyday.
I work out. I am active. I am happy with where I live, although I am
eager to buy a house! But I can wait. I have learned to be patient,
to take my time. To not rush before I am ready, and to leverage those
around me. I still have moments of doubt. I still have trust
issues. But I am strong in my feelings, and I am more vocal. I have
become less of a yes person, and I look inwards for the true answer. I’m
not confident in everything I do. I’m still indecisive, and sometimes I
have a hard time making decisions, but I have gotten better at listening to my
gut, and talking through my feelings.
Someday I will probably work my way off of them again, just to see. But I am not ashamed. It has made me who I am. I am strong, I am confident, at least in most
areas of my life. I take pride in my
work, I speak up, and I have changed the way people in my past see me; I have
changed their perceptions. Because I am
different. Quite different. And quite happy! Yes I need to lose weight. Yes I could be more organized. Yes I could keep a cleaner house, blah blah
blah blah. I don’t care, and that’s
because I am happy, 98% of the time. I
have ups, and I have downs, but I feel normal…at least normal for me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-20556406270157617472013-04-08T21:33:00.002-07:002013-04-08T21:33:55.775-07:00Remember that one time when I posted some honest shiznit on the internet...
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">I'm going to break this bad boy up into two posts because it's a long one...and yes my life is personal, and yes some things should be kept that way, but for some reason I felt inclined to share this. I'm not ashamed or </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">embarrassed</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;">, and I think it speaks volumes about who I am today. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">.........................</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Sometimes I question whether I am secure with myself or
not. I tend to think I am an upbeat, confident person, but then I wonder
if that is just on the outside, and if I am putting on a front, even for
myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I know in high school I was not confident. The 10</span><sup><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">th</span></sup><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"> grade me would
strongly disagree, but she’s wrong, and I’m right. I didn’t like the way
I looked, the way I talked, the way I spoke out of turn and the most random
shit that came out of my mouth. I wasn’t confident in my relationship,
even though I had the most supportive, polite, and caring boyfriend. I
had parents who lifted me up, yet I don’t think I really ever felt truly
“comfortable”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">In college I definitely learned more about myself. I still
babbled on about the stupidest shit. I have a dry sense of humor and more
often than not it left me feeling embarrassed or misunderstood. I
definitely took the opportunity to change myself a bit, since this was a chance
to start fresh where very few people knew me. I became ridiculously organized and anxious. I wouldn't hang out with friends on Friday until my
homework was done. I had straight up panic attacks if my dresser drawers
were not organized, if my underwear were not neatly folded and held upright in
a shoe box (never mind the fact that they were all some pattern or color of
Victoria Secret cotton underwear). I reorganized my room monthly
and overhauled the entire </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">arrangment</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> of the place. I stressed about
every little thing, and I had very little trust. I went home on weekends,
and proceeded to bring items from home to college, and vice versa, so I could
create the perfect space to live comfortably. And I spent my weekends at
home generally cleaning and organizing my bedroom there, and spending time with
my boyfriend and family. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">During this time, my grandma lived in the cities, and I never
wanted to waste a day at home driving in. I wanted to be home, where I
felt the most comfortable, and not wasting my time away from there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">During
high school and college, I kept journals. They were my therapy. My
place to digress and let it all out. Yet I was so effing blinded by some
ridiculous lie that I never even shared my true feelings in my journal. I
just sugar coated the shit out of that too. Sure I had the annoying
little sister that would read my journal when I was younger. But that’s
not why I did it. I honestly have no clue but sometimes when I go through
my old stuff and come across some of my journals, I start reading them and
quickly get sick to my stomach. Because
I am taken back to that time of uneasiness, of distrust. That time where I felt I had to paint flowers
and daisies for a journal I kept for myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
honestly don’t know where any of these feelings derived from. I can chalk it up to pure lack of understanding. Or just the simple fact that I was young and
didn’t know myself. I loved my
childhood. I have so many fond memories,
and I experienced so much. I was lucky
and blessed, and that is a truth. I have
two parents who love me and two wonderful siblings. I have a great family, immediate and
extended. While there have been dark
times and uncertain moments, there have been more times of joy and support. I truly have an awesome support system. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
also know that I was lucky to experience depression when I was 20 years old. It changed my life, and while it sucked huge
ass balls, it made me who I am today, and I would take that over who I was back then any
day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">And
if anyone were to ever say depression is not real, I can’t force them to think
it is, but I can share my story, and know deep down that it is. And yet, I completely understand them and the
point they make. I used to be just like
them. I had family members who were
depressed, and I didn’t believe it </span><span style="font-size: 17px;">exsisted</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;">. I think I sometimes felt they were having a little pity party, even though the individuals in my life who suffered from depression kept it very private and I knew little about what they were going through. I
didn’t understand how a trip to Target, a walk in the park, or dinner with
friends didn’t instantly bring them happiness.
I 100% believed they were making something out of nothing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Until
August of 2006…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-88555801236271385012013-03-28T18:12:00.003-07:002013-03-28T18:12:28.474-07:00Allergies...
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<br />
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I have been sick for the past two weeks. I think it is a mix between a cold, and some
intense allergies. I am just starting to
feel normal again!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t have seasonal allergies until I hit the last few
years of college but since then, whenever the weather changes, the runny nose,
scratchy throat, and itchy eyes rear their ugly little heads. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And while apparent allergies haven’t been around for years,
I have had a persistent throat clearing/cough…like since I was a little
kid. Seriously, I’m known for it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know why it clicked this year, probably had
something to do with the random emails my mom sends me about health and
wellness, but I decided to head into the doctor’s office and lay it all out on
the table. Hopefully I’ll get some
answers soon. I am scheduled to see an
allergist in two weeks. I’m sure their
going to tell this self-proclaimed cat lover that I am allergic to cats (cool, give
me a pill…I’ll deal!), but I am hoping we uncover some other allergies that I
haven’t paid enough attention to. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m just ridiculously sick of this whole being sick often
thing. Not cool! Especially since I try to be a decently
healthy person. I have an appointment
with an allergist next Friday and I am stoked to get some answers! In the meantime, I’ll keep popping vitamins
and allergy medicine, along with a few teaspoons of coconut oil daily-which is surprisingly supposed to be awesome for the immune system! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhduATNphdkTcxXWiAC-HuX4cMCIXsxcY9oDD6YQh2cRShAV6rdMHc6cVCjOezPPOX-QyDnKy2-raS5E9VC7chbvw7lBUX6vAQb8Ei6QHDse3gHxBTQvcolTGcDWozLNv1PNhQROiBYfrU/s1600/IMG_2173.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhduATNphdkTcxXWiAC-HuX4cMCIXsxcY9oDD6YQh2cRShAV6rdMHc6cVCjOezPPOX-QyDnKy2-raS5E9VC7chbvw7lBUX6vAQb8Ei6QHDse3gHxBTQvcolTGcDWozLNv1PNhQROiBYfrU/s320/IMG_2173.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7147007971347352781.post-64861697883370440312013-03-19T18:50:00.000-07:002013-03-19T20:51:26.525-07:00Just a Tuesday...<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Days like today confuse the shit out of me. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can go from one extreme to the next in such a short time. I spent my lunch break looking at houses, dreaming about someday being able to afford one, along with paying off my car loan, paying off that one nagging credit card that grows every time we take a vacation, and making a dent in my student loans. Then tonight I am in my kitchen, one that I share with my grandma since I live with her, thinking about how my life effing rocks, giddy as hell, all while making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my breakfast tomorrow. Seriously, this is what my brain spewed at me in like 2.2 seconds: how lucky am I to be able buy delicious organic peanut butter, and healthy bread, and pack a awesome lunch. And my cats are so awesome and my husband is coming home tonight from visiting his friends and I worked out and I am making a yummy dinner and I can't wait for my morning coffee and squirrel and I should have the hubs pick up soda water because I love soda water and I can't wait to take a bath later and on and on and on and on and on! Yup, that's how my brain works! All the fricken time! Hahaha! I just ramble! But the moral of the story is, I don't give a shit about what I don't have. Well, ok that's a lie, but I'm pretty effing happy with what I do have!</span></div>
Adarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06665714898980349389noreply@blogger.com0